- Solved: Poor battery life on iPhone 3GS using Push / Exchange
- Hobos Getting High on Battery Acid and Aspartame
- Bitch can't afford batteries for her vibrator due to bad economy
- Duracell fined in indecency case.
- Remote Inventor runs out of Batteries
- Batteries Generate Internal Resistance!
- Apple PowerBook Battery Explodes; Bill Gates Badly Burned!
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DETROIT - Now that lots full of new cars are being abandoned, hobos are moving in to 'salvage' the battery acid and cook up a new treat for the street. Normally too sour to consume, the battery acid is mixed with pure aspartame to make a sweet tangy paste that the hobos are eating. Strangely, the hobos are being transformed by the experience. "I gave up drinking.", a hobo known as Hobopower said. " The pink elephants were beginning to bother me.
current state of the economy is a major turnoff for 21-year-old local resident Jenna Buzzins. The freak used to go through two 8-packs of Energizer AAA batteries a week, and much like the Energizer Bunny, she'd keep going and going
Now she's forced to cut back a little, due to her having an empty pocket book. "Ugh, I hate it.
y manufacturers Duracell were fined £4.28 for gross indecency at Kent Magistrates Court yesterday. The giant conglomerate, well known for its superior longer-lasting batteries, found itself in trouble after the release of its latest TV advert last month. The advert features a row of naked women reclining on water beds, pleasuring themselves with rampant rabbits. One by one the women are frustrated as their batteries give out before orgasm is reached.
Robert Adler, the man who invented the remote control , ran out of batteries, his manager announced today. 
Government officials released a vital statement today suggesting that batteries should probably not be eaten. "Our subjects don't die, said an important qualified scientist named Phil. "Many just develop a nasty case of indigestion.